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Sexual Intercourse After Abstinence | Ask the Expert
When a woman has had a period of no intercourse for some time after (I assume) having been freely sexual two years ago, it is quite understandable to have some concerns and anxiety when anticipating having sex again. I would confidently reassure you that under normal circumstances, your age is in your favor and you should have absolutely no problems becoming sexually active again. To prepare your body for this you may want to self pleasure and use some appropriate toy to experience penetration, not forgetting to use lubrication if you find you are not sufficiently stimulated to self lubricate. Please understand that intercourse should never be painful, so don't proceed with it if you don't feel aroused and ready. Learn to put yourself and your body first, not your partners sex drive which might run ahead of yours.
Women's Health,

Question:

I’m a woman in my thirties who has not had sexual intercourse in two years. Is there a risk of bleeding or pain when I become sexually active again? Is there anything that I can do to prevent this from happening?

Answer:

Fran Fisher, RN, PhDFran Fisher, RN, PhDHuman SexualitySutter Medical Foundation
Expert
Fran Fisher, RN, PhDHuman SexualitySutter Medical Foundation

Fran Fisher, RN, Ph D, has focused her practice on human sexuality for almost 20 years. She has a PhD in Human Sexuality and is certified by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. She is part of the Sacramento-area Sutter Center for Integrative Holistic Health.

When a woman has had a period of no intercourse for some time after (I assume) having been freely sexual two years ago, it is quite understandable to have some concerns and anxiety when anticipating becoming sexually active again. I would confidently reassure you that under normal circumstances, your age is in your favor and you should have absolutely no problems becoming sexually active again.

To prepare your body for this you may want to self pleasure and use some appropriate toy to experience penetration, not forgetting to use lubrication if you find you are not sufficiently stimulated to self lubricate.

Please understand that intercourse should never be painful, so don't proceed with it if you don't feel aroused and ready. Learn to put yourself and your body first, not your partner's sex drive which might run ahead of yours.

If you carry anxiety about self pleasure, then be aware when you do become active again to have lubrication available and use it.

The exception to the above encouragement will be if you have experienced cancer treatments i.e. chemo therapy or radiation which will have impacted your vagina not only in your ability to lubricate but also may cause significant atrophy (drying and cracking of the vaginal tissue). For these ladies a vaginal bioidentical hormone replacement therapy is strongly recommended. Used as prescribed it will help heal your vaginal tissue and make intercourse possible again. Additionally use plenty of lubrication but first and foremost INTERCOURSE SHOULD NEVER BE PAINFUL. Help educate your partner if he tries to rush you, take your time, become fully aroused before you attempt intercourse and be in control of the whole experience; take fear out of the equation.

Enjoy your life, play safe and don't hesitate to ask your questions.

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Great Sex at Midlife
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Safe Sex for Women
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